Spyro the Dragon
Spyro the Dragon, or simply Spyro, is the protagonist of that other 3D Platformer video game franchise on the original PlayStation. The first three games developed by Insomniac Games were good, but like a certain marsupial, it was all down hill after the third game. "At least he got a fourth game," some might say. He is currently enslaved to Activision for no reason. Two hundred years of oppression, and it just goes on and on. Important Notice for Idiots *Anyone confusing him for Barney the Dinosaur will be prosecuted. *Anyone confusing him for Boomer the Purple Dragon will be shot. *Anyone confusing him for Spike the Dragon will be forced to watch The Nutshack. Appearance Spyro is a purple dragon with yellow horns. He is about the size of a Labrador retriever, and he walks on all fours. He is almost always seen by Sparx the Dragon Fly, which is probably because he would die from one hit without the little bastard. Insomniac never apologized for this. In spite of or because of his color scheme, he is considered black by everyone in Avalar, which causes Ripto, a racist asshole, to hate him. History Rise Spyro is a very confident and fun-loving dragon. He loves to go on adventures with his life-long friend Sparx the Dragon Fly. One day these dragons were fucking around on public access in Spyro's home world of Artisans when they started insulting Gnasty Gnorc who mostly just stands around drunk as shit. Unfortunately for the dragons of Artisans, Gnasty Gnorc sobered up long enough to hear them, and he used his powers to turn all the dragons into stone except for Spyro. Fortunately, Spyro quickly figured out his task at hand and prepared to collect every gem in sight and blast Gnasty Gnorc back to the stone age. Quite some time after this adventure, Artisans suffered from prolonged rainfall causing severe flooding, which Spyro and his friend Sparx, thoughts of as a minor inconvenience. Spyro found a portal to another realm that was sunny, but due to the meddling of a certain professor who had the voice of a certain sponge, the portal instead sent him to Avalar. The citizens of Avalar were celebrating Hunger the Cheetah's birthday, but Ripto got mad about Spyro being black (the YouTube Poop Wiki is not allowed to use the n-word as a racist slur), so he destroyed the portal back home. After Spyro goofed off for quite some time, Mr. Krabs showed up to destroy Mario Head with a flamethrower for stealing his millionth dollar, which of course led to Spyro being accredited for defeating Ripto. It wasn't until Ripto returned however that he was truly destroyed. Ripto stole Hunter's joint which led to the stoner taking on the form of a dragon, assaulting Ripto, and leaving him to die in some lava. Naturally, Spyro became a little cocky as an important figure in Avalar. When the Sorceress ordered a magic bunny named Bianca to steal the Dragon Eggs that were to be the next generation of Spyro's kind during the Year of the Dragon Festival, she succeeded only because Spyro, having stayed up during the entire night prior, ordered everyone who was bothering him to take a nap alongside him. It was only after Bianca stepped on Hunter's tail that Spyro realized he fucked up. During the adventure, Bianca, realizing that the Sorceress was a sociopath, decided to give into her newly found intimate feelings for Hunter who was even more mentally unstable. Spyro defeated the Sorceress, rescuing all the baby dragons. He even got to have a romance with Elora. Fall After his third game, things went downhill in a hurry. Spyro started appearing in some less than favorable games which led to him being sold into slavery to Activision. Activision eventually decided to use him to help sell the first Skylanders game, which was a huge gamble as they weren't entirely sure the business practice of forcing people to purchase more pieces of plastic to get the whole experience of the game when they'd already paid upwards of fifty dollars would be successful. It was extremely successfully, so much so that it completely destroyed the illusion that was free will in capitalism. This led to them putting so little focus on Spyro in the next game that he might as well have not been there, which was exactly what Spyro wanted. He and Crash couldn't even participate in the All-Stars Battle Royale franchise (Sony's answer to Super Smash Bros. for the PlayStation systems) because of this. Spyro is still trapped in the Hellhole that is the Skylanders universe and is only occasionally aware of his old days of retroactively becoming Sony's other unofficial mascot. It should be noted, however, that the world Spyro now lives in is an alternate future for Crash Bandicoot, not the future Crash actually got, albeit Nina Cortex is still being held hostage by Activision. In the Crash Bandicoot games Upon completing the nightmarishly difficult Ant Agony level in the Tenth Dimension in Crash Twinsanity, the player will see that Dr. Neo Cortex and Nina got through unscathed (which is nothing short of a miracle) and have been standing around staring into space. Cortex remembers the treasure the evil twins mentioned which is located in this room. N. Gin, N. Tropy, and N. Brio point out that the treasure is theirs, but Cortex points out that Spyro "might want his gems back." Spyro then breathes fire on the bad guys and retrieves his gems. It's not entirely clear what adventure Spyro was on, or what relation he has with the evil twins, but he did retreive every single one of his gems, leaving the gold to Cortex and Nina. Unfortunately, by the time Cortex paid off his old debts and the taxes on this, he was barely left with enough to buy Nina a happy meal at McDonald's. Spyro also appeared in a crossover with Crash. Crash Bandicoot Purple Ripto's Rampage and Spyro Orange: The Cortex Conspiracy were party games for the Game Boy Advance. They were a pretty poor investment for people wanting an actual Crash and Spyro crossover, so this game is usually looked over by fans including the guy who wrote this page. Ripto's Racist Main article: Ripto's Racist Mashed Bandicoot Spyro makes an appearance similarly to Crash Twinsanity. However, after saying that Spyro might want his gems back, Cortex draws attention to another purple dragon who brutally slaughters people. It's unclear as to who this individual is as he's never seen again. Some theorize that he might've spontaneously appeared in that universe before going back to his own. Category:Neutral Good Category:Animals Category:Dragons